Healing the Scars of Entitlement

TFC’s Jaime Gabrielli discusses the practice of “branding” in domestic violence relationships and the healing some survivors can find in reclaiming these marks of abuse with new artwork.

Tattoos have decorated human bodies for centuries and can carry meanings far beyond artistic expression. They can represent personal narratives of identity, spiritual beliefs, relationships, culture, and heritage. Sadly, since the beginning of civilization tattoos have also been used to mark slaves, prisoners, and outcasts; impose social order and control; and reinforce oppressive caste systems.

Many people are not aware that tattoos are still commonly used as a cruel way to assert ownership and exert power in abusive relationships. Tattoo violence dehumanizes victims, leaving both visible and invisible scars. Perpetrators of this type of abuse use ink as a weapon, employing methods of deception, manipulation, intimidation, and physical violence to gain compliance. Tattooing as a tactic of domestic violence is one of the ultimate expressions of entitlement, possession, and abuse of power in relationships. In the aftermath, these partner-inflicted injuries prolong trauma for survivors, leaving them feeling trapped long after they escape the relationship.

Ending abusive relationships is a harrowing and dangerous process in itself that sometimes ends with deadly consequences. Survivors often cite financial abuse as one of the primary reasons they stay or return to their abuser. Along with the general danger, the tradeoff for leaving an abuser can be losing essential resources like housing, employment, daycare, transportation, or access to finances needed for any of the above. After victims of domestic abuse are finally able to leave and begin to reestablish their lives, their focus is often on everyday survival. Most survivors do not have the hundreds and even thousands of dollars needed to complete the process of removing or covering forced tattoos, leaving them with constant reminders of the abuse they endured. Adding to the psychological trauma is the fact that coerced tattoos and branding scars usually include the abuser’s name and are strategically placed on visible or very intimate parts of the victim’s body. These permanent reminders of their abuse impede their healing journey every time they are faced with social situations or look in a mirror.

Each and every decision related to bodily autonomy should be a personal choice. Likewise, tattoos should reflect individual identity and represent freedom over one’s own body. Abusers often use tattooing to exert lasting control over the lives of victims. However, many survivors have also discovered they can change forced tattoos into declarations of self-reclamation and hope.

Witnessing the brutal impacts of forced tattooing for some of our clients has led us to find ways to help survivors gain access to professional artists in our community who can help them reclaim their bodies. We have been incredibly fortunate to find local tattoo artists who are willing to help cover these traumatic injuries with meaningful works of art. (To learn about one of them, check out our Q&A with Kaycee Dempster of Velvet Rose Tattoo for our January partner spotlight!)

When survivors can design and choose their own body art, forced tattoos can be transformed into representations of resilience, courage, strength, and other meaningful aspects of their identity that were stripped away by abuse.

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If you’re a local tattoo artist willing to donate or discount your time and talents to help one of The Friendship Center’s clients reclaim their own skin and heal from a forced tattoo with a coverup, we’d love to hear from you. Any introductions between our clients and tattoo artists for a branding coverup will be facilitated through our advocates to honor the privacy of our clients while respecting the time, skills, and generosity of artists willing to help. The value of any donated in-kind services is always tax-deductible, and your contribution will have a direct and immediate impact on the life of a survivor. Email our Client Services Manager Jaime Gabrielli to get in touch if you’re interested in contributing services now or in the future.