Video Learning // Why Victims Stay in Abusive Relationships
- The Friendship Center
- 40 minutes ago
- 2 min read

TFC’s Eric Parsons takes on the complicated question that all of us have asked at some point: Why do victims stay in abusive relationships?
For this installment of our video learning series, TFC Education and Outreach Coordinator Eric Parsons takes on a big question: Why do victims stay in abusive relationships?
This can feel like a simple question from the outside looking in, but Eric unpacks why exiting an abusive relationship is not only difficult, but often dangerous for survivors. For perspective, Eric walks through the cycle of abuse, a concept that helps illustrate the predictable pattern that plays out between violent episodes.
In addition to highlighting that abusive relationships aren’t violent 100% of the time, the cycle can also offer great insight for advocates and support people. For example, it can be a basis for understanding what victims/survivors are getting from a relationship during the “calm” or “honeymoon” periods in contrast to the periods of mounting tension leading up to an abusive incident. The cycle is also helpful for understanding the protective mechanisms survivors have developed to ride out the violent stages of the cycle, often because they know they’re safer within a predictable pattern than they would be if they were to leave an abusive relationship.
Eric elaborates on the risk that victims/survivors face when they leave a relationship: The vast majority of women who are murdered in the US each year are murdered by current or former intimate partners. And of those intimate partner homicides, most occur shortly after ending a relationship. It’s a sobering reality, but one that reminds us why survivors might feel trapped and why it’s so important to offer continued support. After explaining the cycle of abuse, Eric offers some tips for how advocates and support people can approach conversations with survivors to signal their concern and their readiness to help if/when a survivor does try to end an abusive relationship.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, The Friendship Center can help. Check out our services page to learn about our free, confidential, 24/7 services and visit our domestic violence resource page to explore resources for victims and advocates.
If you find this video helpful, be sure to check out all of our short educational videos. We add new ones on different topics on an ongoing basis and we’d love to hear from you if there’s a topic that you’d like us to cover that you don’t see a video for. For a deeper dive on any of these topics, consider checking out our education page to see some of the popular presentations we offer and learn how you can get in touch with us for more info about our education offerings.
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