What to Know Before You Go to Court

Check out this overview of what to expect at an OOP hearing, and some questions to help you prepare your statements and consider what you want a judge to know.

Many of our clients who interact with the civil legal or criminal justice system have questions about going to court. This is understandable—unless you're a lawyer, judge, or courthouse staff, or if you've served as a juror, many of us might never set foot in a courtroom, much less understand the procedures if we have to appear in a case involving ourselves.

Most of the concerns about appearing in court that our advocates hear in our work with clients are about Orders of Protection. Sometimes referred to as a restraining order, an Order of Protection (or an OOP) is a court order designed to stop the violent and harassing behavior of someone you're afraid of. OOP hearings are different from trials in that you can represent yourself; you don’t need an attorney, but you also don’t have to attend alone if you’d like support. (Check out our FAQ section on our OOP resource page to learn more about options for having support during your hearing.)

The protection an OOP offers is significant, making it a valuable tool for safety planning. The process of filing and appearing in court, however, can be confusing and intimidating, particularly if you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed after you’ve been harmed or threatened. The Friendship Center and our community partners are here to help so you don’t have to go through this alone.

We aren't lawyers and cannot offer legal advice, but we can demystify a little bit about what OOP hearings look like and how to prepare for them. Below is an overview of what to expect at an OOP hearing, and some questions to help you prepare your statements and consider what you want a judge to know.

Suggestions for Keeping Yourself Safe

• Before you go to court, you can ask to see the courtroom where your case will be heard.

• Make sure to note where all the exits are.

• When you leave for the courthouse or city hall, consider taking a different route than your abuser would expect you to take if that will make you feel safer.

• Have a friend or family member drive you to the courthouse or city hall and ask that person to stay with you during the day and have them take you to a safe place after the hearing.

• If you are afraid for your safety, you can ask a sheriff to come to court with you.

• You don't have to leave the courthouse or city hall by yourself. Have a friend, family member, advocate, or sheriff walk you to your car.

Courtroom Manners

• Wear business clothes to court. Think about what you would wear to a job interview.

• Be on time. If you are late, your case will be dismissed.

• Be prepared to wait for the judge to hear your case. There may be others before you.

• When you get in front of the judge, be polite. Speak directly to the judge and address them as “Your Honor.”

• Try to remain calm. It is okay to show emotion, and the judge will understand if you are nervous.

• If you are feeling tense, try taking a few deep breaths before continuing.

• Always tell the truth.

• If you do not know the answer to a question, just say so. Do not make up an answer.

• Don't answer a question you do not understand. You can tell the judge that you do not understand a question and ask for clarification.

The Proceedings

Proceedings can vary depending on the judge. Your hearing will generally follow the list below:

Reviewing Terms of the OOP

• The judge will call you and direct you to the table where you should sit.

• After you filed your initial paperwork for your OOP, if the court granted the petition at that time, there will already be a temporary OOP in place until the court hearing date. The judge will ask if you are “pursuing” the order—a way of asking you if you want the temporary order extended.

• Then the judge will ask if you want the same terms in the extended order that you asked for in your previous order.

  • If you want different terms, you can tell the judge at this point in the proceedings what those changes are.

• If the other party does not show up to court, the judge will most likely ask you if the things you said in your petition are true. The judge will tell you what will happen next.

• If the person you are asking for an order against (the respondent) shows up and wants to contest the order, the judge will ask you both to put on evidence to help them decide whether or not to extend the order.

Petitioner Tells Their Side of the Story

The petitioner is the person asking for an OOP.

• The judge may ask you to call your first witness. You will probably be the first witness for your case. The judge will ask you to raise your right hand and swear that what you will tell the truth.

  • This is the time to tell your side of the story.

• Talk about things that are relevant to your order of protection. Consider telling the court:

  • Why you need an OOP

  • Why you are afraid of the other person

  • What the other person has done to make you feel afraid

• Tips for your responses:

  • Focus on the relevant details of specific acts of violence, threats of violence, harassment, or stalking behavior.

  • Be specific. For example, if you are telling the judge about a time the person hit you, say where you were hit, how many times, what injuries or pain you suffered, if a weapon or object was used, etc.

  • If you are describing threats made against you, tell the judge exactly what was said.

  • If you have witnesses, bring them to court with you. This is your only opportunity to call witnesses.

  • If you have physical evidence such as photographs, bring those to court.

• If you don't have witness or physical evidence, that is okay. Your testimony is evidence. Don't be discouraged.

• It may help to practice telling your story before you go to court.

• After you tell your story, the other party will be allowed to ask you questions about what you have said. You must answer these questions truthfully. At this point, the other person is not allowed to ask about topics you did not mention. The only subjects permitted are those you bring to the court's attention. If they ask irrelevant questions, you can object for yourself from the witness stand.

• If you have witnesses to support your story, you call them at this time. Your witnesses may only talk about things they have personal knowledge of—either events they saw, heard, or experienced. They cannot talk about things other people told them unless they’re citing the person you are seeking an order against. Ask your witness open-ended questions and let them tell the story. For example, ask, "What did you see on Friday the 1^st?" Don't put words in their mouth or interrupt them.

• The other person will be allowed to ask your witness/es questions about what they said in court. You can object to questions the other party asks your witnesses if they are not relevant.

Respondent Tells Their Side of the Story

The respondent is the person the petitioner is filing against.

• When you are finished with your case, the other person will be allowed to tell their side of the story.

  • If they talk about things that have nothing to do with your order, you can object and inform the judge that such topics are not relevant.

• When they are done telling their story, you may ask them questions about what they said, but you do not have to. Use these questions to clarify your story. Do not ask open-ended questions. Instead ask pointed questions that can be answered yes or no.

• The other person can call witnesses to support their story.

• Witnesses can only talk about things they have personal knowledge of. They cannot talk about things other people told them unless they are talking about things you said. If they do, you can object. If you hear a witness say, “he said/she said/they said,” and the witness is not talking about you or the respondent, it is probably hearsay and you can object to the statement.

Closing Statements

• When the other side is done putting on their case, the judge may ask you to give a closing statement. A closing statement or closing argument is a short summary of your case.

  • Tell the judge again, briefly, why you need an OOP.

• The judge will then ask the other party to give their closing argument.

• The judge will probably tell you that they will consider the information and make his or her ruling later. They will probably state that the order is extended until a decision is made.

Question to consider in preparing for the hearing

Below are some questions you can consider preparing/practicing your responses for ahead of time.

• When the judge asks if you want the same terms for your extended order, are there any terms you want added or changed?

• When you get to tell your side of the story, what do you plan to tell the judge?

  • Do you have any evidence to show the court? What is it?

• When the respondent has a chance to ask you questions about what you have said, do you think they will ask you things that are not relvant to the hearing? What might they say?

• When you have the opportunity to call witnesses to support your story, is there somebody you want to call as a witness?

  • What do they know about the situation?

  • What questions will you ask your witnesses to get this information to the judge?

• When the respondent has the chance to ask your witness questions, do you think the other party will ask your witness questions that will hurt your story? If so, what do you think they will say?

• When the respondent has the opportunity to call their own witnesses, do you think they will call anyone? What do you think they will say?

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If you or somebody you know would like assistance with an Order of Protection or just want to get connected with us for more information or support, we’re here to help! Visit our resource page to learn more about OOPs and visit our services page to learn more and get in touch with an advocate.